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I promised to keep you all posted on my progress, and since my word is pretty much all I'm good for any more, I'm here to fill you all in. I've tried several times to sit down here and do this since I got out of the hospital, but everything I wrote sounded like an old person complaining about bunions or lumbego.
I still have not smoked.....which is amazing! I'm thrilled, though I cannot boast of having a strong will....if my breathing was back to normal, I would've been smoking again already. So it's not a case of steel fortitude, it's simply a case of I CANNOT ! Nevertheless, I'm pleased....and being pleased with one's self is truly a wonderful thing these days.
My few days home have been funny...The house looks different, the grandkids look different. I look different. I'm covered pretty much from head to toe with black and purple bruises from shots, IV's and being manhandled.
The Pulmonary Physician that treated me in the hospital did a good job, lucky for me. Because he resembled Paul Williams in that iconic leprechaun sort of way and looked at me sheepishly about my smoking habit, all the while trying to hide the trach-port in his own throat. Doctor and patient, each aware of the other's weakness, and floating in the same boat. I don't know if he was ever fully aware of the irony, but I sure was.
This same doctor sent me home with a laundry list of medications, many of them new...and this was funny in itself. I have been diabetic for maybe 4 or 5 years, but never needed insulin. Now with huge mega-doses of corticosteroids, I find I now supposedly need insulin. That would be fine, but I have no way to test my glucose, and the doc wrote me a script for the needles, but not the insulin to go with it....LOLOLOL!! So here I have a box of 100 syringes...but nothing to put in them. This is one of the funny things that happen to me in my life that people sometimes swear I just make up as I go along! (honest! I don't!)
Doc also sent me home with a new blood pressure pill that needed "prior authorization". He instructed me to to let his office know if the pharmacy wouldn't fill it, which I promptly did. His staff tells me they can't fix this issue, because the doctor handles my lungs, not my heart...so I was out of luck....and I'm dumbfounded with the phone in my hand and my jaw hanging open...okaaaay...... and I now know I got discharged before I was ready because Medicare decided it was time for me to go. I am truly lucky to be alive.
Life on high doses of steroids really stinks...cause I want to eat everything in sight...but the wonderful thing about it is, everything you eat tastes fantastic!! Too bad I didn't discover the secret to oral fixation while I was still married....maybe the divorce would not have been necessary!
So, there you have it, my irreverent view on things in general. Life is quite literally what you make it, or should I say that life takes on its true meaning by how we respond to it, rather than what we try to fool others into believing about us...which is a silly waste of time.
As a dear friend of mine blogged recently...don't waste your time in envy or jealousy over what you wish you had. I don't need big boobs, lucious lips or even an active sex life anymore. I'm comfortable being me, and I'm embracing myself with both hands without apology. Gimme a jelly donut and a soft chair and I'll be happy as a clam.
Life is good, kids. And those little sucky moments along the way are just little reminders to pay attention...that you're getting too comfortable, that you're not appreciating the bigger picture. Come on now, you wouldn't think twice about your butt unless you had an occasional hemorroid to remind you that sitting can be a pleasure or a curse depending on what your current situation may be.
I miss you all very much, but I'm trying to be good and take care of myself...(besides I've been watching the Trueblood Marathons at night....). I know you all are still not quite sure how to take me yet, but it's just me...
Love and Hugs to you ALL!!! XXXXX
I still have not smoked.....which is amazing! I'm thrilled, though I cannot boast of having a strong will....if my breathing was back to normal, I would've been smoking again already. So it's not a case of steel fortitude, it's simply a case of I CANNOT ! Nevertheless, I'm pleased....and being pleased with one's self is truly a wonderful thing these days.
My few days home have been funny...The house looks different, the grandkids look different. I look different. I'm covered pretty much from head to toe with black and purple bruises from shots, IV's and being manhandled.
The Pulmonary Physician that treated me in the hospital did a good job, lucky for me. Because he resembled Paul Williams in that iconic leprechaun sort of way and looked at me sheepishly about my smoking habit, all the while trying to hide the trach-port in his own throat. Doctor and patient, each aware of the other's weakness, and floating in the same boat. I don't know if he was ever fully aware of the irony, but I sure was.
This same doctor sent me home with a laundry list of medications, many of them new...and this was funny in itself. I have been diabetic for maybe 4 or 5 years, but never needed insulin. Now with huge mega-doses of corticosteroids, I find I now supposedly need insulin. That would be fine, but I have no way to test my glucose, and the doc wrote me a script for the needles, but not the insulin to go with it....LOLOLOL!! So here I have a box of 100 syringes...but nothing to put in them. This is one of the funny things that happen to me in my life that people sometimes swear I just make up as I go along! (honest! I don't!)
Doc also sent me home with a new blood pressure pill that needed "prior authorization". He instructed me to to let his office know if the pharmacy wouldn't fill it, which I promptly did. His staff tells me they can't fix this issue, because the doctor handles my lungs, not my heart...so I was out of luck....and I'm dumbfounded with the phone in my hand and my jaw hanging open...okaaaay...... and I now know I got discharged before I was ready because Medicare decided it was time for me to go. I am truly lucky to be alive.
Life on high doses of steroids really stinks...cause I want to eat everything in sight...but the wonderful thing about it is, everything you eat tastes fantastic!! Too bad I didn't discover the secret to oral fixation while I was still married....maybe the divorce would not have been necessary!
So, there you have it, my irreverent view on things in general. Life is quite literally what you make it, or should I say that life takes on its true meaning by how we respond to it, rather than what we try to fool others into believing about us...which is a silly waste of time.
As a dear friend of mine blogged recently...don't waste your time in envy or jealousy over what you wish you had. I don't need big boobs, lucious lips or even an active sex life anymore. I'm comfortable being me, and I'm embracing myself with both hands without apology. Gimme a jelly donut and a soft chair and I'll be happy as a clam.
Life is good, kids. And those little sucky moments along the way are just little reminders to pay attention...that you're getting too comfortable, that you're not appreciating the bigger picture. Come on now, you wouldn't think twice about your butt unless you had an occasional hemorroid to remind you that sitting can be a pleasure or a curse depending on what your current situation may be.
I miss you all very much, but I'm trying to be good and take care of myself...(besides I've been watching the Trueblood Marathons at night....). I know you all are still not quite sure how to take me yet, but it's just me...
Love and Hugs to you ALL!!! XXXXX
Hello there you! Queen of the oxygen tank, Empress and Grand Poo-Bahh of prednesone.. lol! I'm just giggling as I read along here while also being THRILLED to see that your getting your feet back under you well enough to let that wacky sense of humour/irony of yours out for some exercise again!
ReplyDeleteYou know, this is natures way of getting you to stop smoking. Its 'helping' you by laying you 'low' enough so you'll have plenty of time and no distractions that might stop you from understanding that you have to do this. And its not giving you any alternatives but breathing or dying...so the choice would be obvious. Kind of sucks when mother nature brings out the 'big guns' and gives us a royal kick in the pants to teach us something. We people, (the average human being) are notorious for NOT taking a hint or two, even when they slap us in the face, we still deny they ever happened and why.
I think I'll join you in the being happy department, I think I'll be happy to have what I've got. somtimes a side bonus of coming out the other side of mother nature pulling out her "big guns" alive is that everything is new again to us, refreshed recolored and enlivened. I think thats nature again, rewarding us with an even BETTER view of how MUCH we have to be grateful and apreciative of.
I say again I am so, soooo glad that you are still here and getting your better view right now. The world might have dimmed bit for all of us if you suddenly were'nt in it, so please keep that in mind if the urge to smoke suddenly rears it's ugly little head, I'm sure you would be missed by many more people than you could even guess at.
Rock on there Grannie, right on, rite on, Write on... :oD